The Cardlanger Chronicles

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Students of The Cardlanger Academy acquire magical powers by studying languages using cards. Together, they  protect all languages from certain destruction by The Extinctors. Hellbent on making theirs the world’s only language, The Extinctors have but one aim: total domination…

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01 – The Scrap Of Paper

Two shadowy forms raced across a moonlit rooftop, one chasing the other. The young boy in the lead made a game of evading capture. He jumped and wove like a cat amid the jungle of electrical boxes and scaffolding, testing parkour tricks. But I’d be lying if I told you he didn’t look scared at all.

The goon in tow suddenly lunged out, cutting his hand on a rusty bracket as the boy slid away down a drainpipe.

At that moment, the goon hesitated because not only was he a goon, he was a heavy goon, and when normal-sized goons try to do this kind of thing it usually doesn’t end too well. Anyway, he tried, and looked pretty good, too… for the first couple floors.

Despite dragging a broken leg, he was able to catch up. The boy had done his part and turned down a dead end street. Just as the goon was reaching out his chubby, grubby, blood-caked hands -shp!- the boy disappeared!

Now, I write that exclamation mark only for your benefit because the goon wasn’t surprised at all. He knew it was a possibility all along. The boy was a cardlanger.

Ah, anger is oh so becoming of a goon, isn’t it? He yelled and screamed such that his crumbly teeth almost blew out. He dropped to his knees and pounded the ground with his fists.

That’s when he saw the scrap of paper.

Picking it up, his crumbly teeth turned into a crumbly grin. Maybe, just maybe, his punishment would be a little bit lighter.

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02 – What Is A Cardlanger?

By this time, you’re probably puzzling over several things. How did the boy disappear exactly? What is a cardlanger? And what’s on the scrap of paper? Well, I’d be willing to explain all these things to you and more, if you just agree to one thing: promise me you’ll only ever share these secrets with fellow cardlangers and not The Extinctors or any of their hired goons for that matter, okay?

A cardlanger is someone who uses cards to focus their language learning abilities; telecarding, is just one of their special powers. Here’s how he did it:

Instructions For Telecarding

[] Place a card on the ground that has the name or picture of the place you want to go.

[] Step on the card with one foot, so that the card is completely covered and hidden from sight.

[] Imagine the place you want to go, the sights, the sounds, the smells, and most importantly, the language. Hear the people who speak it, their tone, inflection, and cadence. Murmur a few words yourself if you can, but not too loudly unless you want people to know where you’re going!

Follow these instructions to the letter and presto! you should be there. Don’t worry, your card will go with you and no one will be able to follow you easily. You can pick up your card from under your foot after you arrive.

Cardlangers usually carry a deck of cards with them. They are well-prepared to travel to any of their favorite places at a moment’s notice. The most adept among them can cast a card to the ground, step on it, speak, and be gone in a flash. For others, it takes a much longer time speaking and much greater concentration. Thankfully for my new student, the young boy, he’s pretty good at it, but a few seconds more and even he might’ve been helpless in the clutches of a goon. It pays to practice.

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03 – Marion Erie

And practice Marion does. That’s the boy’s name, by the way, Marion Erie. Yesss, he practices with ardor and zest and gusto. To tell you the truth, he probably would never say he practices anything because he’s too absorbed in doing the things to bother! It could be parkour, videogames, card games, longboarding, drones or something else entirely. You’d be hardpressed to name something he hasn’t at least tried. And after trying something, if it turns out he really likes it, he goes all out.

Take languages for an example. It’s a great understatement to say Marion is obsessed with them. The only problem is he’s a bit scatterbrained and careless sometimes. Yes, it’s true! If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times to – and that’s exactly why he dropped that blasted receipt, you know? Now, look what’s happened! My whiskers are getting ruffled. Can I take a break from being the narrator?

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04 – A Somewhat Lighter Punishment

“What happened?!”

“I fell off the side of a building and broke my leg!”

“No, no, I mean, where’s the kid?!”

“He- he got away.”

“HE GOT AWAY?!”

“Yes, master, but no need for all caps, I found this.”

The goon produced the dingy, crumpled receipt, looking quite pleased with himself.

“Hmmm.” The master rapaciously devoured the information.

“Sooo might I receive a lighter punishment than the one you usually give?”

At that, the master’s bony claw closed around the receipt, incinerating it. He brushed the ashes off his robe. A light shone darkly in his eyes when he finally looked up. “What a glorious idea. A lighter punishment, yes, indeed. I’d wager you shall never receive a lighter punishment than the one I’m about to give you.”

The master raised both his hands in the air. Sickly green rays crackled around the goon like lightning, lifting him off the floor. He rose slowly at first, then more and more quickly, screaming like a little girl the whole time. As he drifted out of the hall, the master’s words echoed from deep within, “Say hello to the angels for me. They never call anymore.”

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05 – Archidemus Is An OG

Dust swirled in the corner of the room.

Then, it swirled some more. Swirl. Swirl. Swirl. Swiiirl -whp!- Marion appeared out of thin air. “Haha!” He beamed, “That’s too much fun!”

“Your having too much could sink us all!” coughed Archidemus while picking up papers from the floor. “You dropped a receipt before you blinked.”

“Huh?”

“A receipt for longboard wheels.”

“Holy smokes, you’re the real deal, sir.”

“Marion, when you telecard you must know every single thing you carry, right down to the lint in your pocket. The best telecarders are also-“

“-the most aware. I know, I know.”

“Ah, you know so much!” gaped Archidemus with exaggerated eyes, “Good. I don’t need to tell you they’re coming here.”

“Are you kidding?! How?!” Marion almost peed in his pants.

Archidemus jabbed his thumb towards the window without looking up from packing, “Why don’t you ask him?”

Marion ran to the sill, climbed up, and looked out. There, something ugly hovered in the moonlight, waving, kicking, and screaming like a little girl the whole time.

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06 – Prey

Archidemus finished packing quickly. He’d done this many times before. All his most important spellbooks and papers floated to their places in various satchels. You would think it funny to see how his long beard got all caught under the straps when he threw them over his head.

“Where are we going to go?” worried Marion aloud.

“Didn’t you tell me there was a music store you’ve been wanting to go to? On, ah, Rockers and-“

“Yeah! I’ve got their card! But sir it’s after midnight. They’ll be closed.”

“Give it to me,” said Archidemus, “I have a friend near there.”

Archidemus cast the card down onto the floor, stepped on it, and took Marion by the hand. “Tell me about the music store.”

“Well, it’s got lots of vinyl records and instruments. Bands practice there. Ray said he learned some words: backbeat, riff, hook, bridge, tremolo, nocturne, shoegazing, -shp!-

The two companions vanished.

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07 – Predators

“Where are we going to go?”

“Didn’t you tell me there was a music store you’ve been wanting to go to? On, ah, Rockers and-“

“Yeah! I’ve got their card! But sir it’s after midnight. They’ll be closed.”

“Give it to me. I have a friend near there.”

A slender, eyeless figure felt the worry in Marion’s leftwords with delight. Another crouched to trace the imprint the card made in the dust.

“Tell me about the music store.”

“Well, it’s got lots of vinyl records and instruments. Bands practice there. Ray said he learned some words: backbeat, riff, hook, bridge, tremolo, nocturne, shoegazing-“

The two figures communicated something for only a moment, then left with haste down the staircase, out the door, and into the night.

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08 – Archidemus’ Hideout

-whp!-

“Wooooooow! This isn’t the music shop.”

“How observant you are.”

“But it’s so cool! Where are we?”

“This is a place I sometimes come to get away from it all. It’s a good hideout.”

Marion spent a few minutes in utter fascination. Archidemus unpacked.

Several inventions around the room bewildered Marion; some moved, whirred, and released smoke in different colors. Captivating titles stuffed the bookshelves to the breaking point, including The Telecarder’s Way by Raelgroth. Happening upon that, Marion’s spinning mind returned to a question.

“Archidemus?”

“Yes?”

“Before we blinked out, I described the music shop.”

“Yesss.”

“But we ended up here.”

“Ah, but Marion don’t forget, the card was under my foot. I had much greater sway in determining where we would go.”

“The music shop card?”

“Ah, no, no, I switched it.”

“I really thought you wanted to go to the music shop. I described it and imagined it with all my might!”

“Just as I hoped! Marion, your description helped us more than you know. But it’s late now and we’d better get some shuteye.”

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09 – A Knock On The Door

The next morning, Archidemus and Marion awoke to the sound of a knock at the door. They sat up straight in their beds. Then, the knock became a pound. Boomboomboomboomboom!

Who could it be?

Finally, a familiar voice registered in the sleepy pairs’ ears. “Anybody home? Archidemus, are you there?”

It was Ray.

The pairs’ relief turned to annoyance.

“Confound it, Ray! Yes, I’m here. Knocking like that, why I…” Archidemus’ muttering trailed off as he shuffled to open the door.

Ray’s face lit up when he saw Marion. “Mari! What are you doing here? It’s been a minute.”

Marion jumped out of bed.

Ray was a couple years older than Marion, and taller, but hardly any wiser. Since Ray’s parents divorced, Ray started struggling in the Cardlanger Academy and Archidemus singled him out as a good candidate for part-time instruction. And that’s why Ray had come looking for Archidemus this morning. It was time for their lesson, but Archidemus was not at his usual spot in the library.

Archidemus liked Ray because Ray wouldn’t hurt a fly, despite the fact that life had certainly given him plenty of reasons to do so. At times, he could be clumsy, or a tad impolite due to his ignorance of manners, but nonetheless, everyone regarded him as quite a lovable type.

“What are we going to learn today, Archidemus?” asked Ray.

“Yeah! What are we going to learn today, Archidemus?” mimicked Marion.

Archidemus looked at the two young lads and just shook his head.

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10 – A Warning

“I want to know how to telecard two people, like you!” Marion blurted out.

“Whoa.” nodded Ray in agreement. “That would be sweet.”

“Ah, honestly, I don’t think you two boys are ready for that. You can barely telecard yourselves properly.”

“But what if me or Ray needs to save somebody?”

“That could happen,” offered Ray supportively. “These are dangerous times.”

Archidemus rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Maybe we can get into that, but first we need to polish your individual telecarding -.”

“YEAH!” shouted the two boys, jumping off the creaky floorboards.

After they landed, there followed a second, much deeper thud, which gave everyone pause.

The boys ran to locate the source.

An evil chill rippled through Archidemus’ body like the aftershock of an earthquake. He clutched his heart and groped for the bedside to sit. He was just regaining his senses when Marion came skipping back to him with a book. “What’s this about, sir? It fell off the shelf.”

“Put it down, Marion! Now!”

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